Helping others. That is my ultimate goal with this blog and my business. I hope you find what I write uplifting, thought-provoking and a call to action in your own lives. What I write will be different each month, but it will always come from an authentic place in my heart. This first one’s heavy, but I promise they won’t all be.
As I sat down to write, I didn’t quite know where to start. Do I tell them about my life-altering event? Do I tell them how I came to have a website and blog in the first place? Why does the internet world even care? You may not, be here it goes anyway.
My husband, Bill, was skiing in March of 2014 when he collided with another skier head-on, without a helmet. He spent the next three days in a coma, and the following three months in acute hospital care. He suffered a severe Traumatic Brain Injury, or TBI. My world and the worlds of my children and family shifted on its axis. To the point in which I didn’t do anything except tend to his care. Nothing else mattered to me but his survival. I can tell you that two years later, we still spend a great deal of time with his rehabilitation. Neither of us are the same for so many reasons. And maybe because of that, or in spite of it, I feel nothing but blessed.
During the early stages of his rehabilitation, I had been a mortgage loan officer and gave all of my business to others in my office, unable to do anything except focus on Bill. Once he was back home and I regained control of my business, I was apathetic professionally and personally. I was still in a grieving process and unable to truly help others like I had done for the previous 14 years. The mortgage business didn’t excite me like it once had, but it was all I knew.
Life-altering events can and will shift your perspective. They will re-align your wants and your needs. They will bend you so far out of your comfort zone that you scream out uncle until your lungs hurt. This is what happened to me. I gained insight that only glimmered at first, like a penny at the bottom of a watery well.
I started meditating daily and practicing my beloved yoga again. I took a step back professionally and asked the tough questions like “what do you really want for yourself” and “what inspires you?” Yes, I actually asked those questions of myself. And here’s the crazy part: I listened.
At first, there were crickets and tumbleweeds. There might have even been a whistling wind like in a bad western movie. I saw myself standing on a bluff atop a desolate desert in the Wild West and looked over each of my shoulders to see if someone else was being asked the hard questions. “Who me?!” I replied. “Yes, you!” I looked down, shuffled my feet, and picked at a nail. “Well, I’m a mom and I do a pretty good job at that most of the time. I’m pretty sure I’m a good friend and I now know without a shadow of a doubt I’m a good wife,” I replied. “You can be those too, but what’s in your HEART?”
Then I heard it.
It was a whisper at first. “You’re an artist.”
“You’ve always had an artist’s heart.”
“Now’s the time.”
“I don’t know how.”
“I’m too old.”
“I will have to leave my profession and everything I’ve ever worked for.”
“What if I fail?”
“What if you succeed?”
This volley of words played out in my head for months until tears streamed down my face. I had to get out of my own way to let this tiny glimmer turn into a light. I finally said to myself, “What do you have to lose?” I actually had the benefit of saying this a lot when I almost lost the person I loved most in this world.
I like to say I retired from my profession in 2015, but basically I quit. I walked away. It was one of the scariest things I’ve EVER done. I cried, but then felt an odd sense of relief. I started stoking this tiny fire in my soul by taking a silversmithing class last fall. I adored working with my hands. I came out of class each day with creativity filling my brain and a passion in my soul I hadn’t tapped since I was much, MUCH younger.
The more I started doing what I enjoyed, the less I heard negative self-talk and its close companion, doubt. After some time, I had ignored them so completely that they slinked away like unwanted guests and closed the door quietly behind them. Sometimes doubt and negative self-talk will rap quietly on the door of my mind to let themselves back in. I haven’t let it so far and I don’t intend to. I don’t have time. I’m too busy making cool stuff.
Have you ever felt these things too? You’re stuck and you don’t know how to get from point A (where you are presently) to point B (where you want to be)? Maybe there isn’t even a point B. Maybe we are all supposed to take action a little each day in a forward motion and that’s what feeds your soul; ultimately giving you confidence you’re doing what was intended of you when you were born. I see Bill do this on a daily basis and it gives me the inspiration to keep up the momentum. If he can do it and I can do it, you can do it too.
You have a little version of yourself in your mind too and if you take the time to be quiet, it will be coaxed to speak the truth. Some may call this the voice of God, others will say the Divine, others simply, spirituality. Whatever it is for you, it’s there for the taking. All you have to do is ask.
My beautiful friend,
You are an inspiration on so many levels. I am so proud to call you a friend (and lucky to own some of your gorgeous creations!).
April 23, 2016
I completely love this blog and your beautiful jewelry!!!
April 21, 2016
First off I’m so glad to hear Bill is doing better everyday. Secondly great job Liz! Your going to do great! I’m sure Katie is already making a list for our first purchase. Ha ha
You inspire and amaze me! Xoxo.
April 18, 2016
Beautiful words, beautiful woman, beautiful jewelry! So proud to call you my friend. Xoxo
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