I remember being a little girl and loving my friends. Loving them as though my life depended on it. I went to their houses on a daily basis, went on vacations with them, and as I got older, talked with them on the phone for hours. I mean, actual hours filled with nothing but conversation. How my mom could stand the constant chatter, I have no idea.
When I went to college I lived with 13 girls in a house. The house was an abomination and should have probably been condemned way before we ever lived there. In one instance we had a party and had to disperse people from standing in one place because the floor was sagging. Through our Dave Matthews-induced haze, we believed it would bust open clear to the basement taking all the carefree college students in the living room with it. But we loved that house fiercely because it was the house in which we girls laughed, cried and ate way too much cookie dough.
In between the laughing, crying and a ton of silliness, there were real conversations. Adult-ish conversations that held true meaning and value. When you live with someone, you get to know every inch of their soul. You get to work out the kinks because frankly, there’s no other choice. You get to truly understand the fundamental basic of how any adult relationship works. Supporting one another. It’s hard to support someone that doesn’t support you back. It’s hard to be supported when you’re the one not giving any effort. But when it is mutually agreed upon that you love each other and have each other’s back no matter what, that’s the sweet spot. Friendship, regardless if it’s life-long or brand new, is one of the most beautifully profound aspects of life.
In a blink of an eye, we grew up. We graduated, went into the world, got jobs, husbands, kids and houses. We still supported each other but when life got in the way a little too much, we started an annual girls’ trip to reconnect. I truly believe that we saw the innate value of spending time together. Or maybe it was an excuse to lay out in the sun and try to recapture some of that college spring break magic. Either way, in our mid-twenties, these trips were filled with laughter, excitement and gossip.
As we get older, being away for a weekend by ourselves is considered a luxury. These trips are filled with sleep, coffee and wine. In that order. But there is one consistency that hasn’t wavered. We are as supportive of one another as we were 20 years ago. We are able to block out the rolling freight train of real life for 72 hours. We share hysterical stories that make me laugh so hard I cannot breathe. We share stories of regret, grief and sorrow so painful that I also cannot breathe.
I’ve realized as we get older, life doesn’t get any easier, but we gain a certain perspective that we didn’t have when we were younger. Relationships with true friends are as necessary as oxygen to me and hopefully to you too. You better believe if I get a phone call or text, I will do my best to answer it and really listen. You want to tell me what you had for lunch? Why not? I need to pick up your kid? Absolutely. You need me to be on a plane? You better believe it.
When we shoulder the burdens of others and vice versa, I truly believe we are doing what we were intended to do. And by doing so, our life may not be any less chaotic, but it’s a hell of a lot easier.
Your writing is beautiful, just like its author. ❤️
May 24, 2016
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